How can I improve my Pogue status?
I haven’t been to the field in almost two years, and even then I had framed tents and heating (warm meals, shower runs, ect.) I haven’t slept outdoors since WLC, I work in an air conditioned office, drink coffee from a mug, don’t own a canteen, and have a chair with adjustable settings and lumbar support.
I have cable TV in my office, doughnuts, and a vending machine. Even when I was in that country we invaded I did little-no work and ate chicken nuggets everyday. My biggest concern at the moment is that the vending machine is out of Dr. Pepper and my mouse pad is getting worn (looks very unprofessional.) The worst thing that can happen to me right now is that I’ll have to go to the range where I have overhead cover to protect me from rain, because firing a rifle in the rain is just nuts. I do PT though, sometimes they even make us do it outside if the gym is too full. I am considering removing my airborne wings and combat patch to be even more poguish, any suggestions?
Thanks for the input Tool, but you didn’t actually answer the question…..
Yeah Andy, I guess I’ll have to take of my AAM that I got for running 2 km of fiber cable.
I guess nobody’s ever heard of satire……
Everyone except Andy is telling me how to be less poguish, they’re missing the point entirely. Would a moustache be good or bad for my goals in this matter?
I carry a backpack around, they wont let me have a handbag. But I counteract the anti-pougeness of this by only carrying school books, Dilbert collections, apple juice, and Oreos in the military styled backpack.
Combat Soldier come into my office? Ha ha ha, good one.
Thanks Leroy, that’s dead-on. I actually chose not to pursue the CAB I could have got for mortars because I knew it would hurt my future endevor to be the ultimate pogue.
Mini-frig Andy? I have a full sived frig with a freezer, gotta keep my hot pockets cold, (untill I want them to be hot obviously, that’s why I have the microwave.)
Your right Leroy, that guy was really mad and I guess him and Tool didn’t get issued a sense of humor. My favorite is ppl who argue that they’ve been to war but don’t have a combat patch because they weren’t authorized, and then they consider Bright Star or something like that a deployment.
What? Remove your airborne wings and combat patch? Nonsense!
Any Pogue would be proud to sport medals, awards, distinctions and embellishments of any kind! Have a friend put you up for a combat valor medal if you can – preferably for being within fifty miles of a combat zone, though the citation doesn’t need to say so.
In the meantime, see if you can get a fresh, starchy uniform and shiny new boots (all those squeaky office floors can really leave a mark on the soles of your shoes… or is it the other way around?) using your poguey connections.
LOL, I don’t know what to say. We didn’t have Pogue status in the Navy. Too bad you can’t remove your ribbons as that would increase your Pogue status. How about ironing your uniform daily so you look like a complete suck up as if you were trying for soldier of the year.
Hahahaha maybe I should send you my Father’s Army medals from WWII and Korea, if you wore them that would really increase your status. But he only received a Bronze Star, Purple Heart, and Army Commendation Medal, so I don’t know if it will be much help. Maybe if you wore them with his Combat Infantry Badge and overseas medals it would put your pogue status over the top. If you wore his 12 medals that were last issued to anybody 50 years ago you would look like one of guys going on leave, the "leave commandos" who wear ribbons they didn’t earn to impress those back home.
Darn an AAM. I know a Pearl Harbor Survivor that has 19 Battle Stars on his medals from WWII Naval Campaigns. He was on the Nevada, and on another ship that was sunk at Guadalcanal. He was part of the task force that supported The Doolittle Raid. He would be jealous of your AAM as he never received any personal decorations above the good conduct medal.
Hey it might help if you turn down your air conditioner when a combat soldier returning from the war comes into your office. Then you would complain about how it is always too cold in there. Make sure you complain to them about the hot food you have been getting in the chow hall.
Too bad you can’t have a mini refrigerator next to your desk.
Your such a silly boy playing Army. I can only take a guess and say your in signal. But while your bragging your fellow soldiers are dying in the field. Are you proud of that? You dude, are a Moron. I am guessing your not Airborne, nor have a combat patch because no one would ever disrespect their brothers who are getting killed on combat missions everyday. I really pray to God that I hear you say that one day. I will take my 2 purple hearts and pin them in your eyes. My question to you is any suggestions on how you can become a real soldier?
I got the solution for you!!
Get out of the military. Go home and spread lies about all the things you never did in the military. Giving democrats more ammo to use against the people who actually do something.
Just leave man go AWOL or something. Maybe then while your on the run you can live in the woods, suck it up and just live off the land. Maybe try to get a job at burger king and get arrested for desertion and eventually end up in a military prison cause your a douche bag !!
Or you could put in a 4187 and get yourself to a real unit where you can put those soft hands to good use in the infantry digging your own cover, sleeping in the rain, getting bit by sand flies, camel spiders, scorpions in your boots, and then you get to wake up and see something you never got to see from behind that Phat Desk job you got. WORK and boy its great !!!
So either endure the suck or get out !!! You know what your choices are quit your bitchin and move out and draw fire
make sure your NCOIC puts you in for a BSM when you deploy to Camp Victory or Camp Liberty.
Ensure that you ALWAYS remember to wear your CAB that you got for a mortar POI that was "real close" to your air conditioned trailer.
Spend lots of money on Blackhawk gear, take pictures of yourself, and post them on your Myspace.
"Embelish" your awards on Military.com, maybe even claim you were SF or CAG.
Tell war stories at the VFW when you go home on leave. When pressed for details, claim it was a Top Secret mission and you cannot talk about it yet.
It seems the others here have no sense of humor. if it wasn’t for Fobbits, I would never get tail at the Division DFAC!
Jeez, the previous guy is real pissed. I have 3 deployments to Iraq (5 total "Combat Zone" deployments – not Bosnia rotations) and I got tagged twice on the last tour. Fobbits are their to support us. Don’t hate them cuz they live better than the 20% who work outside. Who do you think interprets the crap we pull out of cache sites, flys the UAV, repairs our Trucks, and guards the DFAC? Man, if it wasn’t for the DFAC guard I might forget to clear my weapon for the tenth time since driving through ECP 5.